What a nice day

The funeral was wonderful. Originally, I wasn't going to take my kids, but in the end thought that perhaps it might actually be helpful. My oldest daughter has some SERIOUS concerns with death. Where she got them, I'll never know as we haven't had to deal with death before. But for the last 2 years or so we've had hours and hours of conversations about it. I've used every analogy, every way of explaining it that is possible and it still comes up quite often. So at first, taking her to a funeral was out of the question. Then we began to think that perhaps this would give her what she needed. You see, she's a very concrete thinker. She can't visualize things and that bothers her. So when we talk about death in the abstract, she just doesn't understand. We thought that perhaps SEEING it, would be helpful. Of course, we were still worried that we would tramatize her for life. In the end she came, along with her younger sister. I prepared them as best as I could and they wanted to go into the Relief Society room where there was an open casket.

I personally had no desire to see my grandfather's body, but that is where grandmother was and I wanted to see her. We went in and the kids did spectacular. I had a minor meltdown in preparation to enter the room, but being in there was not what I expected. It's so obvious that grandpa was not there....that his body was not "him". There was a certain detachment from it because I knew where my grandfather really was. I think my girls could see the same thing and something must have "clicked" with Emilee, because she had only 1 or 2 questions and that was it! (Normally, we talk about death for 2 hours at a time and she can't stop worrying and discussing it). This time, it was "So can he breathe?"

"No, his body doesn't need to breathe. He is in heaven so he doesn't need his body anymore"

"Oh, ok." And she hasn't brought it up since.


Every single grandchild showed up to his funeral. Every. Single. One. I don't know how many there are, but I believe it is around 17 or something. All in all, there were 50 family members there for the family prayer beforehand. I'm not sure how many people were at the funeral total, but there were many people there, in fact, the entire chapel was filled. It was difficult to watch my grandmother kiss him goodbye and tenderly lay an afgan over him. Megan watched and said, "Oh, that's cute."

We all wore pilot's wings. At the very beginning, all of the great-grandchildren got up and sang I am a Child of God. What a perfect tribute to the patriarch of our family! His daughters spoke first. Linda, his oldest, got up and told everyone that were were here to celebrate Grandpa's graduation! My Aunt Jan had become ill that day and was not able to make it. My mother talked read her part, including a beautiful poem my grandfather had written about my grandmother just a couple of years before and mom also spoke about some fond memories she had. I was asked to read the memories I'd written down (my last blog entry). When I finished with "Here lies the shell, the nut is gone" I saw most of my cousins smiling and nodding as I know they had all made the same promise to grandpa.
My cousin Ruth read a poem called High Flight that he has had on his wall for years.

High Flight
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence.
Hov'ring there,I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air. . . .
Up, up the long, delirious burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or ever eagle flew —
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
— John Gillespie Magee, Jr
His favorite song, Ava Maria, was played. Then my cousin Matt spoke and talked of the eternal nature that we are and of being a reflector for Heavenly Father, (he put it MUCH more elegantly than I ever could...it was really an amazing talk). It was the perfect ending to his memorial.

We finished up with food...party food at that. Chili Dogs, cookies and Ice cream....etc. We had brightly colored napkins and plates to represent how Grandpa would have wanted us to have a party and be upbeat. Each table had a bowl of M&M's on it....something Grandpa loved. By the end, all of the children (probably close to 20 great grandchildren had been there) were running around the gym playing and having a good time, just as Grandpa would have wanted.

It was not nearly as emotionally exhausting as I thought it would be. I cried, of course, and several times. But at the end of the day, the sun was shining and I thought to myself, "This was a good day."