A little Bragging....

Ok, so a lot of bragging. Can I just say that my girls are adorable? I know, I know, I'm their mother and required by law to say that, but really, they are! Emilee has been asking to sing a solo in church for over a year now. I finally let her do it. I convinced her to let Megan sing part of it with her, which is a good thing because Emilee got a bit of stage fright and couldn't get all the words out. But she was a trooper and hung in there even though she was really scared.

I recorded them when they practiced and wanted to share it but as I am computer illiterate, I couldn't figure it out! A big shout out goes to wonderful, awesome and talented Kristie who helped me put the recording on her website so I could post it here! Thanks Kristie!

Emilee is singing the solo in Silent Night, Megan sings a couple lines of solo in Away in the Manger and they sing Picture a Christmas completely together.
Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?
http://www.bloominbracelets.com/duet.mp3

And after you oooh and ahhh over my sweet adorable children, check out her awesome bracelets!

Ok, so now that I'm done bragging and being prideful, I'll share a little kid funny that happened the other day. Megan got a goodie bag at her preschool program. Melia, of course, being the younger sister and 2 years old (and you ALL know what that means!) decided to throw a fit becasue she didn't get one. Well, the nice preschool teachers found her a candy cane and gave her one.
On the way out I mumbled something like, "Well Melia, you threw a fit and got your way" to which Megan enthusiastically patted her little sister on the back and yelled, "Great job Melia!!!"

Ay yi yi.

The best part of Thanksgiving

We had a great, low-key Thanksgiving dinner yesterday with just our family and Grandma BeBe and Grandpa Brian. The food was great and we had a good time.

The hands-down highlight for me was at the table when I was talking with Emilee. She commented on how she loved Thanksgiving dinner. I told her that Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday. She came back with the comment that was not surprising at all coming from a child.

"My favorite holiday is Christmas!" Well of course it is. Isn't every child's favorite holiday Christmas. Afterall, its the one day they know they will get spoiled with way too many gifts.

Then she finished her sentence. "Because Christmas is Jesus's birthday and I love to think about Him."

It touched my heart so deeply that I almost turned on the water works right then and there. What a sweet spirit I have in my home. How did I luck out to get a daughter like her? I certainly didn't give her enough credit. I am so thankful for her!

A great quote...

I discovered this quote the other day, and thought it was beautiful and thought provoking. I would love to hear others' remarks on it.

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.There is nothing enlightened about shrinkingso that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously giveother people permission to do the same.As we are liberated from our fear,our presence automatically liberates others."

By Marianne Williamson
quoted by: Nelson Mandela

True Humiliation

Children have a way of keeping you humble. Just when you start thinking that you have the brightest, cutest most well behaved children....they do something to keep you in line.

I took the kids out to have donuts this morning. We went into the shop and there was this lady there (I'm sure you've all seen one like her before)....sitting there, not looking quite "right"....like maybe she lives in a special home nearby but can get out and walk around the neighbor hood. She's just sitting there, with her mouth kind of hanging open, slumped in her chair just kinda staring into space with glossed over eyes.

After about 5 minutes, Emilee askes VERY loudly, "Mom, can people die with their eyes open?" while she stares at this lady.

I wanted to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could have launched into a conversation about tact, about people with differences, etc. However, I was too busy trying to shove the rest of the donut into Melia's mouth so we could high tail it out of there!

Something in my ear

Have you ever just been sitting around. Maybe you're watching a good movie, sitting at your computer (and really, chances are it's the computer....admit it) or driving in your car when all of a sudden you feel something in your ear? Your ear tickles like something is a movin' and a grovin' in there?

Logically you know (or really really really hope that you know) that it's probably just your hair, but you can't shake the feeling that you have some horrible insect in your ear canal. I mean, if you're sitting still and just fine one moment, your hair is not going to just jump up and shake around in your ear, right? So it might be a bug? But then really, how common is it for bugs to crawl into people's ear in the middle of the daily activities (don't even get me started on the horror stories about how many spiders humans swallow in their sleep!)

*shiver*

So please, let me know you've experienced the same thing, or give me the name of the best psychologist in Washington please.

The scariest thing about Dentists...

Is not the drill, the shots or any other one of the torturing devices they have there. It's the Dentist himself. Why? Because he has the power to tell us whatever he needs to make money. How are we going to know any different?

I took Emilee to the Dentist a year ago. After waiting for TWO hours in the waiting room, we got in. They couldn't get Xrays on Emilee, because her mouth is so tiny (and she is so anxious) that she had a rough time getting the film in her mouth. But still, without Xrays, the Dr. was able to tell us that she had 3 cavities she would need to come back to have work on. She also, according to this dentist, needed about 6 teeth pulled. Nevermind that she was 5 years old and hadn't lost any of her baby teeth, yet. His reasoning was that her teeth were so crammed in there together, that her older teeth would not be able to come through.

We never went back to that dentist again because I had a weird feeling about it.

Fast forward to last weekend. We found a new dentist (one who is open on Saturdays. Hooray!) We got in within 5 minutes of waiting. The hygenist was spectacular and made Emilee feel at ease. They got Xrays this time because they were patient, and had these little tiny films for little mouths they could use. And guess what? No cavities! In fact, not only did she have no cavities, but the Dr. commented on how GREAT her teeth looked! THey even took her picture and placed it on the No Cavities wall. Oh, and as far as pulling teeth, she lost 6 teeth this summer, all on her own. Sure, she lost 2 teeth for every one that is coming in, but it's a lot less tramatic that going in and having them all yanked!

It makes me sick that I could have just listened to the Dr. and gone in, possibly traumatizing her at the tender age of 5 about Dentists for the rest of her life just by listening and blindly following one man's advice. A man who was probably trying to make more money by suggesting procedures there was hardly an oz of reasoning behind. I'm so greatful to have found a great Dentist! One who actually cares about teeth and not doing procedures. Three Cheers for Dr. McCullough!

What's a Bachelor's Degree?

The following conversation happened in my car yesterday. The 8 year old boy I watch was bragging that his mother (who happens to be divorced), is graduating tonight with her Bachelor's degree. He was so proud of her and he had every right. Then my daughter asked him what a Bachelor's Degree was.

His answer:

"Someone who goes to school without a husband."

His poor mom...she deserves so much more credit for her accomplishment! lol

One little bit of information changes everything...

It's amazing how one tiny tidbit of knowledge can change your entire attitude. That is what has happened in our household this morning.

Melia, my 2 1/2 year old, has been a bear lately. She's always been prone to phases of....um....high maintenance? But these last 3 weeks have been quite a doozy. It started off with some crankiness and a cold/cough. This cold has now been going on for 3 weeks, although for the most part she doesn't really "act" sick. She's been waking at night...alot. She's clingy during the day. She can be perfectly happy sitting on my lap, but if I dare try to walk away, she screams as if the world is ending.

Quite frankly, it's grating on my nerves. A couple days ago I just let her scream. She promplty responded to that tactic by throwing up all over my bedroom floor. Ear infection maybe? She doesn't have a fever. She doesn't pick or pull at her ears. I just didn't get the ear infection "vibe". But, since we didn't know what was going on, I was all ready to call first thing this morning and make an appointment for her. That is until...

Last night I was talking with a few friends. They both have one year olds and were sharing the woes of teething babies. That's when it dawned on me. 2-year molars! Sure enough, when I stuck my finger in her mouth this morning, two nice big fat molars have peeked through the surface. I'm sure there are 2 more working their way down up top. I bet that explains it.

I mean, it could just be that I have a tempermental, cranky and high maintenence child. But for now, I have some molars to blame it on. It's much easier to handle the clinginess when you know a possible cause.

Grateful to be alone.

You might think I'm going to talk about the truly heavenly bliss that comes from having some alone time, but I'm not. I'm going to talk about those moments that you are truly grateful that you are alone, because otherwise someone would see you acting like a complete idiot.

Take, for example, me. I'm in my room today, cleaning (gasp! Yes, CLEANING my room. There you go Mom and Dad, it only took me 28 years). I'm sweeping along the side of my bed when this THING....this small black and really, really, really fast thing comes running at my feet. This sucker was coming straight for me and I screamed like there was no tomorrow and leaped up onto my bed, jumping and screaming and basically freaking out. Then that nasty little critter ran into the wall and began running back to where it came from.

As I watched the little purple/black bead roll to a stop in the middle of the floor, it dawned on me that with my zealous sweeping, I had sent the bead flying, bouncing off a wall, and rolling straight back at me. But in my defense, it was moving so fast there was no way I could tell it was a harmless little piece of necklace and not some creepy, hairy, eight legged ball of terror. It probably took me a full 5 minutes to quick breathing heavily.

See, this is why you don't clean. I really don't think it's good for your health.

After 7 long years....

I finally did it. I splurged. And I don't just mean "oh, I just spent $40 on a pair of shoes"...I mean I SPLURGED.

I just spent $400 on a blender. Yes...but not just any old blender, on a Vita-Mix! The blender of all blenders! This thing can puree anything. You can make a smoothie and just peel an orange and stick the whole thing in there, seeds and all. I made soup the other day...all I had to do was stick an entire tomatoe in there, an stalk of celery, a slice of onion, green pepper and squash, a garlic clove and some seasonings. No slicing, no dicing. I didn't even have to use the stove or microwave, the Vita-mix heated it up for me! In the end I threw in some canned corn, black beans, chicken and tortillas to make it chunky and I had the most delicious soup. And best of all, I didn't have to chop anything or cook anything and it took me all of 5 minutes to make. And, since all those yummy vegetables were obliterated by the VItamix into a liquid, my kids were none the wiser! They also haven't realized that while Mommy has made them fruit smoothies and milkshakes ever day this week, I've snuck cabbage, kale and carrots into their daily "treat" becasue it blends so well it completely liquifies it and you can't tell they're in there!

Can you tell I'm happy with it? I've longed for one for the last 7 years. But I always let my head rule and would walk away. I decided to go for it this year, however and I couldn't be happier. And the best part is that it will pay for itself since I am now making my husband his rice milk, which costs about $4.50 a gallon from Costco but only about $.30 a gallon in my Vita-mix!

They should pay me for advertising.

Can't complain!

When someone asks you "How are things going?", how do you respond? Honestly, the first thought that always pops into my head is, "I'm tired." Such is the life of 3 small children I suppose. But the other day I met an old friend and asked her how things were with her family. Her response....."Can't complain!". I heard that resonse once again last night from someone, and I've decided it's my new favorite saying!

Frankly, there are a LOT of things I CAN complain about in my life. But then again, isn't everyone's life that way? Couldn't we all find things to complain about? At Stake Conference two weeks ago, the Stake President talked about hope. He asked every person who had recently had something happen in their life, wether it be a death, or a financial burdon, an illness or some other struggle that had caused them to feel despair to stand up. Guess how many people stood up?

About 95% of the congregation stood up. What does that mean? That we are all a miserable, desperate bunch? No. There are the can't-complainers out there. They experience the same feelings of despair, exhaustion and frustration that I often feel. So what is the difference? I would guess that it is probably that they don't let those frustrations define what their life is.

So I'm tired a lot. Does that mean that is the definition of my life? Is that what I want my life to be about? I think I want to redefine my life experience. I'm going to start answering "Can't complain!". Because I really can't. I have been blessed with 3 beautiful and healthy children. My husband has a job. I could complain all day about his job, but can I complain that the Lord hasn't looked out for us when my husband HAS a job and so many don't? A job that truly was an answer to prayers long ago, even if it doesn't seem so now? To complain about all that I have probably makes me seem like an ungrateful little brat. I lecture my children when they get to go to the fair and they complain because they can't go on just one more ride. Is that what I'm doing when I focus on my frustrations and my trials instead of all of my blessings?

So how are YOU doing today? Me? I can't complain!

Wonderful Husband of Mine....

Yesterday my friend was having what we were pretty sure was early labor, so I was preparing to spend the night at a birth. I was absolutely beat, but my husband encouraged me to take a nap (which I promptly did about 30 seconds after that sentence came out of his mouth!). He let me nap for 2 hours and wrangled the kids. He gave them baths and got them ready for bed. He did a large portion of the enormous laundry pile we'd been picking at all day. Then, when I left for the birth around 11pm, he supported me and wished me well. When I arrived back home at 6am, exhausted and sleep deprived, my dear sweat husband went into work late, so that he could get up with the kids and let me get a few hours of rest before he left to take my oldest to school.

The entire time, he never once complained or seemed short or put out by the demands that an on-call job can have on a family. He supports me whole-heartedly and sacrifices to help me do something that I love.

It is an act of love that he will never have any idea of how much it means to me. I can say it means the world to me, but that really just doesn't even begin to explain how much it truly means.

It will be my turn to support him soon, as he begins school again for the year and I become a school widow. Those qualities of understanding and sacrifice do not come to me nearly as naturally as they seem to come to him, but I only hope that I can support him as well this next year as he has supported me through my doula work.

Love you, Hon!

Killing them with kindness....

We've all heard the saying before, but it really is true. I've been refinshing our kitchen table this week, which means time in the garage (and little people following me in there!). It also means that the cans of paint that Daddy left out, opened I should add (to dry them out so the dump will accept them) were available for the little people who follow me around all day.

So when I heard my oldest start crying and saying "you're gonna be mad at me", I really wasn't that surprised. I mean, come on, 10 gallons of piant and three children? Can anyone really expect anything less? When she finally coughed it up, apparently she had gotten paint on the Cinderella dress up clothes that Megan had been wearing.

Now I don't claim to be a perfect mother. Heck, I don't claim to be mediocre, and I will admit that my normal response to things like this would be (said in wicked-witch style of course) "Why would you be playing in paint? You know better than that. Go outside!" Yes, I would have said that even though I was letting them in the garage with the paint in the first place. But I didn't say it this time. I was good, people, I was very, very good! I looked at her and simply said in a nice, calm voice, "Oh, I guess you'll be earning money to buy a new dress for Megan then won't you?" and I went back to work on my table. When she continued to cry, I put my arm around her and told her, "It's only a dress, Emilee. It's ok. You'll just have to work it off and make it up to Megan."

I can't tell you how proud I was of myself. Emilee, on the other hand, continued to sob and cry. She didn't seem to be appreciating my soft, kind approach. In fact, when I came out of the garage 20 minutes later I heard her inside the house still sobbing. Now if I had screamed, she would have cried...and gotten over it. Something about the whole "under" reaction thing really threw her for a loop and she was either scared that a) aliens had abducted her mother and replaced her with someone else or b) I was disappointed, which we all know is the worse possible punishment a parent can really bestow upon their offspring.

You really can kill them with kindness.

Must be nice

This is my daughter's beautiful hair after a summer of fun in the sun.

Must be nice to have hair this color, complete with highlights, without paying $100 or more.

I wouldn't know.

Actually, that's a lie. I did know, once upon a time. Of course, I was a child myself, so I certainly didn't appreciate it. Why is it that we appreciate things so much more when we don't have them? It's like when I used to think I was *gasp* fat....as a teenager I lamented my thighs.

Now, I would kill for those thighs! I need to learn to appreciate things when I have them. All those things I had when I was younger....beautiful bright hair color, smooth skin, good muscle tone....now only a memory. I wonder what things I have now, that I may take for granted or even dislike, that will only be a distant wish-I-had-that-again memory 20 years from now.

Some chocolate....

Well, the PLAN was to post you some chocolate anyway. But a certain really annoying and pathetic website that shall remain unnamed (*cough*blogger*cough*) won't let me.

So thanks to those who answered! You can have the self satisfaction of knowing you made someone's life easier and it was fat free as well!

17!

That's how many people have come to my blog today and ignored my desperate pleas for help with my little poll. Apparently, not as many people like chocolate as I thought.

STOP!

Do not move on to another blog. Do not pass Go. Do not read and think you'll respond later but never come back.

Help a poor girl out. I'm in charge of a baby shower. I know many of you, having been in my shoes, will take pity on me and help me. Those of you who haven't, will put your imaginations to work.......and help me. Those who lack imagination, will see me groveling and begging and feel sorry for me.....and help me.

So we're doing games at the shower. I know, I know....I hear complaints about games all the time. But I like baby shower games! And the other gal in charge with me likes them as well. So we're having games! One such game will be Baby Fued, taken after Family Fued. So I need your answers to the following. Please....pretty pretty please....with a cherry on top? A cherry dipped in chocolate? Aha, I knew I'd get some of you with the chocolate!

Name the best things about having 3 children ages 2 and under...(we're asking this because...well, she is doing just that, and needs some warm fuzzies to think about! lol)

Name something you love about babies

Name something you pack in your birth bag

Name an activity you WON"T be doing right after you have a baby

Name a must-have baby item

Name a common item in a diaper bag

How many times does a baby wake a night?

How many diapers will a new mom go through each day?

Name a baby item that starts with B

What time of day will Jennica's baby come? (such as afternoon, dawn, middle of the night)

How old will baby be when he gets his first tooth?

Cleaning Power!

Do you have Cleaning Power in your house? We do! It comes in the form of Betty Crocker's Rich and Creamy Chocolate Frosting. The house was a complete disaster, 99% of that mess being from my three lovely children. I needed chocolate, and I needed it bad! So as I raided the house for chocolate and came upon a half eaten tub of frosting, a thought began creaping into my oh so tired brain.
I gathered the children around me, and told them that I had some Magic Cleaning Power. I explained to them that I would give them each a spoonful and if it worked really well and helped them clean up quickly, I would give them some more when it "wore off" and they needed a boost to start a new job. The first spoonfuls went down the hatch and the kids scurried off to show me how well the Cleaning Power was working, because remember, if it doesn't work there's no need for me to give them any more. They raced back and forth time and time again with requests of "I need more Cleaning Power; what can I do next!?!?!"

Within about 15 minutes, and 5 or 6 shots of Cleaning Power, my house was clean. Ahhhhh....blessed, teeth-rotting, bribery.

The organized mayhem....

So my friend watched my children this afternoon for two hours so I could get some work done around the house. I had these fantasies of cleaning the entire house and getting my to do list all crossed off. Of course I snapped to my senses, and realized that I should make a more obtainable goal and set out to clean my bedroom. In two hours? Who was I kidding.

First of all, you have to realize that my bedroom also houses my computer desk and filing cabinet. A computer junkie can not, and I repeat, can NOT work in an environment with her biggest temptation humming right beside her. Of course I had to get on a few times to check email, read a blog or two, etc (and by a "few" I mean 59).

Anyhoo, back to my cleaning. I started with one simple pile on the top of my filing cabinet. But as I started separating the loose paperwork into catagories such as Primary papers, doula papers, Modbe papers, papers for Emilee, papers for Megan, financial papers, catalogs I haven't looked at for a year but might need some day, etc, I realized that separating them all out wouldn't do me much good unless I had somewhere to actually put them, aside from shoving them back on top of the filing cabinet which is what got me into this mess in the first place. So of course I needed to start clearing out some drawers in the filing cabinet to make room. Then of course there were items in the filing cabinet that didn't actually belong there, and would be better to put in the large closet in the hallway. So of course I had to start clearing out THAT closet to make room for the stuff in the filing cabinet to make room for the stuff on TOP of the filing cabinet. You see where I'm going with this?

2 1/2 hours later, I have 3 wonderfully empty cabinets. I also have 10 piles of crap to go through instead of the 3 I started with. I've thrown away an entire bag of old paperwork and yet my house does not resemble the neat and organized haven I had imagined when I dropped my kids off. Who was I kidding? Next time I ask someone to babysit, I'm going to be honest with myself and ask for 2 weeks, not two hours.

More on Megan

So this will be a little brag thread on Megan, becasue she's just growing up so fast right now! I think age 4 is so amazing because they just really start to mature into little children at this point.

I was standing at the counter with Megan, and she emphaitically informs me that she knows Heavenly Father loves her. My heart melts...can you truly hear any sweeter words come out of your child's mouth? She tells me that she knows that because she had a dream about Heaven and Heaven was wonderful. "Yes, Mom. It was so wonderful and Daddy was there! But you weren't!"

You know those moments in a movie when the music comes screeching to a halt? Yeah, it happens in real life too...I think I actually heard it. But her conversation marches on as she tells me about Heaven and how her swing set had banana seats.

Do you remember my post about how Megan taught herself to read? Well apparently she taught herself to tie her shoes as well. She was at tap class and needed to put on her tap shoes and we went through the quite common conversation of "I want to do it" "Ok, try it" "Ok, I can't do it, I need help", only THIS time, she did it!! Perfectly! Both feet! I asked her where the heck she learned it and she informed me all by herself. I didn't teach her. My husband didn't teach her. I asked her sister and she told me about the time she tried to teach her and she didn't understand (and I remember that time about 4 months ago). At some moment it clicked though...and again without my knowledge.

It makes me sad. I was there for every single one of Emilee's "first" moments. But Megan is just charging forward, full steam ahead wether I am there or not!

So anyway, she was tying her shoes for tap class. Megan is at Itty Bitty Dance Camp this week. I let the kids pick a camp to attend at the YMCA this year. It's for 2 hours a day for a week. Emilee took tap the last 6 months and while she enjoyed it, I vowed that my kids weren't going to take Dance anymore. While the actual classes at the YMCA were not expensive, the costumes, shoes, recital fees, tickets and videos of the production are outgrageous!!! It's just more expensive than I think is worth it. So I made a firm decision that the girls will have to stick with Gymnastics (which is completely free at the Y). Of course, then Megan's instructor pulls me aside privately after class on Wednesday to tell me that Megan is quite the littletapper, was the best in the class and that she has picked up very quickly and really seems to have a knack for it. I just about plugged my ears and start singing right there in front of him. I do not need to hear about how my child has a talent that needs to be developed. Well, I want to hear that, but I need to hear about a talent that doesn't cost so much money! Now, of course, against my better judgement, I REALLY want to put her in Tap classes this fall.

Besides being a little Tap Prodigy, my little Megan is the biggest sweetie you'll ever meet. She loves to cuddle and to do nice things. This morning she brought me breakfast in bed (prompting this little ode to Megan today). Cinnamon toast with actual butter (I didn't get any butter on Mother's Day!) and a cookie on the plate, with a nice cup of apple juice. The cookie was in about 4 pieces which she informed be was "becasue the cookie kept falling on the floor", but unfortunately I didn't get to try that cookie because I offered the kids some and there just wasn't any left! And when she cuddles, she doesn't just sit on your lap, she wraps her little arms around your neck and can stay that way for a long time. In fact, I have a hard time if I have to sleep in the same bed with her because she likes to sleep that way, completley plastered to the side of my body with her arms around my neck and her hot breath by my face. It melts your heart, but doesn't help you sleep!

I'm insanely in love with my little Megan, absolutely positively crazy head over heels for her.

And just for fun, some common Meganisms (I'll let YOU figure out what she means!)

"Moooom, I can't find the hooker!"

"Look, I flipped off the fly!"

Speaking of kids growing up...

My oldest last night asked me why guys smelled better than girls. Then she proceeded (in her most dramatic tone) to say, "Guys smell SOOoooooooooo good and girls just don't have a smell. But guys smell.....oh....SOOOO good" *insert a died-and-gone-to-heaven facial expression on her face here.


I swear...we don't even have cable. I don't know where she gets this stuff! I was going to wait to lock her in her room when she was closer to the teenage years, but now I'm thinking six might be the right age to start.

When did she learn to read?

Megan came up to me the other day and said, "Look Mom! I wrote apple!" There are the paper were three perfect little letters.....A P L. Oh my goodness, she actually sounded that out? But wait...Emilee is the reader in the family, Megan's just a little preschooler, she doesn't read, right?

Ha! Boy, what an unobvservant mommy I have been. I sat down with a few books to spend some quality time with Megan. That girl can READ...no thanks to Mommy. I certainly haven't been aware. She read things like "Pam has a hat." and "Spot is black", although she said Spot is Blask, but hey, I don't blame her...stupid English language and it's changing sounds.


It always amazes me how different children are. I've always been aware of that, but sometimes something comes along that just really drives home the point. I guess Emilee was about this same age when she started reading but do you ever notice that your oldest is always older? Even when a younger sibling becomes the same age the oldest once was, they're not as old as the oldest one was at that age somehow. Was that even English? Did that make sense?

When did Megan become old enough to read? I was so busy trying to teach Emilee how to read and become a little more "fluent" at it, that I completely neglected the fact that Megan is now old enough to begin. When we read together she never asked to read and I always assumed she wasn't ready. Anyway, back to how kids are different.

Emilee learned all of her letters and the sounds they make pretty early on. She knew them all extremely well and she knew most of them before she even turned 4. However, it took us quite a bit of practice to learn how to blend words together. A sample reading session would go something like this:

Emilee: C = Cuh A = Aaaaa T = Tuh Which obviously spells "Cuhahtuh!!!"

We worked a lot of figuring out how to blend those sounds. Megan on the other hand, seems to have no problem blending sounds (seeing as she figured it out on her own). Perhaps part of the reason I didn't realize she was ready though was the fact that she doesn't even know all of her sounds yet (maybe half?). So what she can read is quite limited, but man, if she knows those sounds she doesn't even seem to have to sound all of them out. We were reading the word "kids" and she started by making the "r" sound. I corrected her and told her it was a K. She immediately shouted "KIDS!" No need to individually sound them all out and figure out how they go together. She's just amazing me right now. I love this age when they are figuring things out and learning these new skills that prepare them for school. I'd just spent so much time watching Emilee do them, that I forgot that Megan was entering that phase. And by the way, when did I get old enough to have TWO readers in the family?

Which brings me to another thought. I've always classified my children to a degree. I mean, I don't have favorites or "good" children vs. "bad", but we've had some stereotypes. Emilee was the "thinker"....she asks 100 questions a day or more and analyzes everything. She was the one who loved to learn how to write and do her "schoolwork", etc. Megan, on the other hand, always seemed to be more physical and rough and tumble. She had little desire to sit around for long periods doing "work" and more desire to be doing, doing, doing. I guess more focus was placed on her physical feats. The thought occurred to me that perhaps I don't tell her how smart she is as often as I tell Emilee. So yesterday, when we were cuddling and reading I told her how incredibly smart she was. She beamed at me, and said, "And Brave! Don't forget Brave!"

She may be smart, but she's still rough and tumble too!

Overheard in the bathtub...

So my two oldest children are taking a bath and I'm just around the corner putting the leftover dinner in the fridge.

I hear, "Emilee Erin DeZort, will you marry me?" Her reply? "Well, I would like to, but you're supposed to have a ring and you don't have one."

A minute later I walked into the bathroom to see Megan sliding a toothpaste lid onto the tip of Emilee's finger for her "gagement ring". Emilee then annonced she was having a baby and proceeded to have a beautiful water birth.

ROFL....is that a daughter of a doula or what?

Ah, the memories...

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to get together with an old childhood friend. Her mother and my mother were good friends and we played together all of the time. I moved away when I was eight, and her family moved several states away soon after that. I've only seen her two or three times since then. I'm now married, with 3 small children and she is married with an adorable little girl!

It turns out that she only lives an hour or two away from me now. Her mother was up visiting and so we all got together....the "original" mothers and the "little-girls-all-grown-up" mothers.

She looked so wonderful and it was a joy to see her (despite the fact that she is cute and skinny...something I can only aspire to!) It was so much fun reliving old memories and sharing new things in our lives. I have more memories of spending the night at her house than I do of just about anything else in tnat period of my childhood. We watched Smurfs and She-Ra together. We built forts and hunted for BB's on the streets we roamed (remember the days when little kids could actually roam the neighborhood?) We would force our little brother and sister to sit still and play school with us, or we'd try to get them to kiss each other...that is, when we weren't trying to get away from them! I think about her often when I see my daughters making "best friends" with children they are growing up with in the neighborhood. I often wonder if they will look back with the same memories.

We're all grown up now. She has a beautiful little girl that has this crazy, huge grin she shares very easily. She looked just like her Mama. It was a nice reunion....certainly not something I get to do everyday. As soon as they left I had to go look through my old pictures. I didn't ask her if I could post pictures of her in the internet world, but well, our history will allow her to forgive me. lol



Here we are doing I have no idea what. I'm the blonde with the horrible haircut! But look at our feet! Certainly the best part of this picture is the Jellies! Man how I thought Jellies were cool!



Here we are in the back row. The girl I have my hand on is her little sister. The other two...well, I have no idea who they are. But I'm pretty sure the outfits we're wearing were made by my friend's mother. I could be wrong though...afterall, it has been 20 years.

When your lessons to your children come back to bite you in the butt.

So we have a rule in our house.

Put your stuff away! Not that it gets followed very often. My children area always leaving their things out. I've had almost every single toy taken away before and it didn't seem to help a whole lot. Not that I can blame them; I'm not the best at picking up either.

Anyway, to drive home the point that they need to take care of their stuff, if they leave it out, it's anyone's game. Emilee will get upset because Megan is playing with some special toy/project/gift of hers and if it wasn't put away then I tell her that it's not my problem. Basically, if she leaves it out then the other kids can do what they want with it.

So tonight I took some money out of my jeans pocket before sticking them in the washer and just left it on the counter. Do you see where I'm going with this? When I told her it was mine, she asked the question....the question she really had every right to ask. "How come I have to give stuff back to you when you leave it out, but Megan doesn't have to give stuff back to me?"

Good point. My daughter is now $7 richer.

Happy Birthday Dear Melia

Wow. Two years already? I felt like taking a trip down memory lane today.
I realize it's long, but indulge me.

It was a Sunday night. I was due the next day, although I use the term “due” very loosely. When I was first pregnant, and I went in for my first appointment with my midwife, I informed her that I had been late with my previous two, and I was pretty sure I ovulated close to a week later than the average woman. So we changed my due date from the 2nd of June, to the 7th. No real reason to say the 7th, it was just later and sounded like a good date.

So I was “due” the next day. I had a final scheduled for Tuesday in my online college course I was taking. The instructor emailed us Sunday afternoon informing us we could take it anytime we wanted. I hadn’t studied, but not wanting to push my luck on the baby front, I decided to sit down and just take it and get it over with. I started the test around 10:30 that night. About half way through the test, I was just really uncomfortable sitting there. You know how it is when you’re 9 months pregnant. Is there really a comfortable way to sit? Then I began to notice that the insane urge to stand up seemed to be happening every 5 minutes or so. Hmmmmmm….

By the time I was near the end of the test I could hardly concentrate. I just wanted to be done and to walk around. I quickly finished the last question (I got at A by the way!) and began to walk around the house.

Nothing.

Worried that I would be calling my birth team to my home in the middle of the night, I did what any sane pregnant woman about to go in labor would do at midnight. I did the dishes so they wouldn’t think I was a slob! While doing the dishes I definitely felt a little bit crampy, but I couldn’t classify anything as a contraction really, since I couldn’t really feel a beginning and an end. I could just feel a little bit of a peak now and then. I decided I really should go try to get some sleep in case I was going to be getting up in a few hours. I laid my head down on the pillow and boy, it felt nice. I was tired so I instantly began to drift.


YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW! A contraction came and it did NOT feel good. My body screamed to get up, but I really just wanted to sleep. Knowing that often times when you change a position, the next one is stronger, I kept laying there thinking they would alleviate. YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOW. Ok, Ok….they’ll settle down.
YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOW! I literally jumped out of bed because basically every cell in my body told me that that was not ok to be laying like that! I got back up and walked out into the living room.

Nothing.

Well, not nothing, but certainly not much. A light bit of cramping every 5 minutes or so and that was it. I remember feeling silly just walking around, at 1am, with hardly any labor going. But I knew I couldn’t lay down. For some reason, when I laid down they hurt like crazy! So I walked around for a little bit and they slowly became stronger and more defined.
Around 2:30 I woke my husband and asked him if we should start filling the birth pool. With my last birth, once things got cooking, they really sped along. So I was in this weird in between stage, where I wasn’t positive this labor was going to stick, but I couldn’t wait too long or things would get rolling to fast to do the things I wanted. We decided to start filling. At 3am I called my midwife and told her I didn’t know if she should come, I didn’t want her to waste her time….but it might be it, etc, etc. She decided to come.

Meanwhile we ran out of hot water with the tub half filled. By now I was really starting to feel uncomfortable and I was tired (because it was 3:30am!) and really wanted to relax in the water. My mother arrived and we suddenly had a brilliant plan! The next door apartment was unrented at the moment and when no one lived there, the managers always left it unlocked! My mom and my husband took pots and pans and went over and stole their hot water, one pan at a time, and brought it back to my tub! They single handedly filled the rest of my huge birth tub that way. Aren’t they great!?!

My midwife and her assistant showed up around 4am. I told her I did not want to be checked because if I wasn’t very far along I was going to be discouraged. So I spent the next 15 minutes or so leaning against a wall and saying, “Freak Freak Freak Freak Freak Freak Freak Freak” during the entire surge. I don’t know why. It certainly wasn’t planned and not something I did with my other two, but it sure felt good! The rhythm and the noise really helped to relieve any tension I had. I was having a lot of discomfort in my back, so I was really using anything I could to keep myself loose.

My doulas arrived around 4:30 when I was getting into the tub. Boy, that tub felt good. It was pretty hot though, so one of my doulas spent almost the rest of my labor bringing cold washcloths and putting them on my face, my back and my neck. My dear wonderful husband spent the entire time pushing on my aching back to relieve some of the pressure I felt. My other doula sat in front of me with a pillow on her lap, and I leaned over the edge of the tub and laid on her lap while she played with my hair.

Around 5:30, I asked to be checked. I was ready to hear the news. 6cm! Not too bad, I had hoped for more, but wasn’t too disappointed with that. I went back to work at relaxing and moaning through my birthing. My oldest daughter (who was 4 ½ at the time) woke up around this time. She was a little anxious since she woke up early to all of these people in her house and didn’t get the build up of early labor to adjust to. Grandma took her out in the living room and put the Lion King and watched the movie with her. They would come in and peak in the room ever so often.

Around 6:00 I told everyone that I felt complete and could probably start pushing. However, I remembered the pushing as very overwhelming with my second. The urge had been so strong that I hadn’t felt very in control and I was really nervous about starting that again. So I continued to labor for a bit longer (probably 15-20 minutes) until I realized I really wasn’t going to get anywhere just doing that. So I started pushing. I told the midwife something didn’t feel right and she checked my cervix and found a little lip left. During the next surge she simply popped the lip up over the babies head and then things felt much better to push. Shortly after I started pushing, I felt a pop and knew that my water had finally broken. Pushing in the water felt so much better than it had pushing on my back in bed with my second! I could “feel” more, as in I could tell what my body was doing and where the baby was, but it didn’t feel nearly as overwhelming. I could feel my body doing it’s thing, but I didn’t feel like I was on a runaway train like last time. I had the oddest sensation when I felt the baby’s head slip into the birth canal. It didn’t hurt a bit, but I felt so full. I could feel my body stretch and I knew when to back off so I didn’t tear. At one point when I was pushing, I could hear the Lion King in the background. It was playing that scene when Scar is singing all evil like, and I heard him sing, "Powers of Contention!". I remember yelling at someone to turn it off because my baby was NOT going to be born to a song about contention!

I was pushing on my hands and knees and when she was born, and the midwife just somersaulted her between my legs and she floated in front of my. I picked her up and out of the water, held her to my chest and just became overwhelmed with so many emotions. She was finally here! She didn’t breathe at first, but she was pink and healthy looking. She held her head up on her own and looked at me, and at a few other people in the room. Then she laid back on my chest and the midwife tickled her feet and she slowly started to breathe….a little bit at a time with just a little meow here or there. It was so wonderful.
Later, Emilee helped Daddy to cut the cord. Megan came in about an hour later and met her new little sister and we gave the girls their Big Sister gifts becasue it is so special to become a big sister and we knew they would be wonderful big sisters.

It took us two days to name her Melia (Muh – Leah). We had picked out Olivia, Alyssa, and Allison, but none of them seemed right! On day two, Emilee said she thought she looked like a Melia. It fit immediately. Even Daddy agreed (and Daddy does NOT like unique names) so we knew it was meant to be.

My little Melia is such a personality. She has this insane screech/giggle she lets out every time she sees a balloon. And I mean EVERY time. We hear it several times a day. She notices them in the horizon when they are miles away at a car dealership, or in a grocery store 6 aisles over. I hear the screech, and I immediately begin looking for balloons. She has the curliest little hair. She is slow to give people a smile sometimes (you can always see the wheels turning behind those eyes and she’s figuring people out) but when she does, it’s magic. She’s a Daddy’s girl too and if she hears his car after work will run out the door giving him the “balloon” screech!

She’s my little Melia and she’s Two!



Surrounded by my husband and my two doula's support



Pictures of me holding my baby for the first time (as well as the people who held my hands the entire time)



And here she is today, trying to be big like Daddy and eat her dinner while leaning against the kitchen counter.

How cute is that?

About 18 hours after our first dental floss experiement, Emilee lost yet another tooth! We'd discussed pulling it that night, but since it wasn't ready to pull the night before when we got the first one, I figured it wasn't ready to pull less than 24 hours later. But while playing in the back yard and chewing gum, it popped out all on it's own! I think the first one was helping to hold it in or something! lol

She is also sporting the haircut she recieved right after school. I had to drag her in (since the last 30 days consisted of conversations along the lines of "If you keep crying, we're cutting it all off", etc, etc, etc.) I made her go in and she was sad. But the cut is so cute on her, even SHE could see that! She ran her hands through her hair all day commenting on how wonderfully tangle free it was and how she was going to keep it like this for a while. It is awfully cute on her. Growing up I said I'd never cut my children's hair short. I thought little kids and long hair were inseparable! But Emilee just looks cute cute cute with short hair. Her hair is so thin and straight and short hair just complimetns her face. We had it cut in an inverted bob and slightly stacked in the back. It's a bit shorter than we asked for, but still adorable on her. Yes, that was pride you heard in my voice....I'm a sinner.

I've always thought kids with their teeth missing were cute. But something about it being on my own "baby" just makes my heart melt. I love that look!

Two graduations in one night!

My baby....my oldest baby, graduated into the toothless club tonight! She's had a loose tooth for months now, but it was hanging on strong. Actually, now both of the bottom ones are really loose. Today I noticed you could see her adult tooth coming through right behind the back edge of her loose tooth. She's quite the scaredy cat, but I convinced her it would be fun to pull it. So we sat down and I tried very unsuccessfuly to grab a hold of that tooth. Baby teeth are incredibly tiny when you think about it. Yeah, yeah, I know, stating the obvious. Anyway, we attempted the old tried and true dental floss method, but I had the hardest time getting the dental floss around her tooth! It just wouldn't stay on. It didn't help that she was a little stressed out and her bottom lip would tighten up and get in the way. I finally grabbed the tweezers to help hold the back side of the floss in place. Bingo! I know she was really nervous, but I honestly think that I was more nervous than she was. I knew that if I failed to pull that tooth out, it would 1) hurt her and 2) increase her paranoia about loosing a tooth. So after I made her a giggle a bit I yanked with all of my might. It actually came out quite easily. She had this look of shock on her face, and then I dangled the tooth in front of her. She was all grins! She started this uncontrollable, excited giggle and started chanting, "it's out! it's out! it's out"...but that excitement slowly morphed into a full blown panic attack.
"It's out! It's out...........oh no...It's out! Aaahhhh, I'm scared, I'm scared (imagine her now running around in circles petrified) I'm scared." I should have video taped it. I probably could have won some money on America's Funniest Home Video because the extreme emotions she bounced to in that 5 seconds was quite funny!

I guess she'd seen the blood on the end of the tooth and was really worried. So of course, I couldn't let her look in the mirror for about 5 minutes because she actually bled quite a bit. I was grateful Megan didn't say anything to her.

So now my baby is toothless and she is loving it. Most of her friends have all lost teeth already so she was feeling left out. Now I just have to remember not to go to bed before doing my part!



The second graduation was my precious Megan! She had her preschool graduation today. They had cute little graduation caps and everything. They called the kids' names and they would walk down the aisle gingerly, most of them acting shy. Then Megan came bounding out when it was her turn and skipped and twirled her way down the aisle! I'm so bummed I didn't get a picture. She was moving so much and so fast that the only two pictures I snapped were way to fuzzy to even post.

My little girls are growing up.

A French Kiss

When my oldest daughter was younger (around 3), she would ask for a "turn kiss", which meant a kiss where your heads turned, like at the end of the fairytale. She also knew that the mouth was slightly open. Man, kids are really observant, even of cartoons! She would try to "turn kiss" us all of the time.

So today, when she asked for a French Kiss, I assumed she had renamed the Turn Kiss and wondered where she had even learned that term in the first place. What is a kindergartner doing learning about French kissing? I began to giver her a speach about how some kisses are for Mommy's and Daddy's and other kisses are for kids when she lamented, "But I just REALLY want to kiss you on both cheeks".

Ahhhh......a French kiss. Ok, I get it. Sure Emilee, French kiss all you want.

Birthday on a Birthday!

So Monday was my birthday! Happy Birthday to me! I had a pretty fun one! Since becoming a mother, Birthdays are pretty much a regular day most years, but this one was fun! My husband took the day off of work and my MIL and GMIL were staying with us and they watched the kids while James and I went out. They baked me a birthday cake, helped the girls wrap presents and then MIL took us out to dinner as a family that night! It was really a great day!

I also got to go to a birth on my birthday! I had a client who was due in the middle of June but had been having a lot of health issues. She decided to have a C-section (her first had been C-section, her second a VBAC homebirth) because of some liver issues and her baby boy was born Monday morning at 37weeks, 1 day weighing 9lbs 9oz!!!!!!!!! That's right! 9 1/2 pounds and 3 weeks early! Wowsers! He was absolutely adorable and my client was happy. It was fun to get to go to a birth on my birthday! What better way to celebrate than that?

My talents lie in other places.

I love to do my girls' hair up in cute little hair styles. I'm pretty good at it too. Now, don't mistake that to mean that I actually DO it very often, because really, who has time to get three little girls all spiffy every morning? And even if I did have the time, who would want the fight? I don't feel like listening to the shrieks of horror every morning. I get enough of that just brushing their hair. Especially when it will be all messed up by the time lunch rolls around. But when we buckle down and do it, it's cute! However, there is one aspect of hair care that I just can not get the hang of.

Parting.

I can not part my children's hair for the life of me. I try, I really do. But it's not uncommon for me to have to redo a part 4 or 5 times before I get it to where it is even enough to call it good. Not great, just good enough that people won't be able to notice how bad it is from a distance of more than 20 ft. Perhaps that's why I don't do their hair more often.

Megan wanted her hair is "two braids, mom, two braids" the other day. I eyed her head, looked from the front, from the back, from every angle I thought would be helpful. I parted a little, rechecked, parted some more. I had done a pretty good job for my first part of the day. I felt good about my part. It was even! I had mastered it, finally! I hate to say it, but I was......proud! That is, until I got both sides braided and took a step back.
*sigh*

Childhood memories

So sorry for the terribly dim picture, but it was super sunny outside, they were sitting in the shade and well, I'm not a photographer! And I realize only one has a "normal" smile, but if you've ever tried to take a picture of 3 children, you probably know this is the best out of 30.

Here they are, enjoying a favorite memory of mine from childhood! Dipping fresh strawberries in powdered sugar! No summer in childhood is complete without it!

So what are your favorite childhood summer memories?

On another note, day 12 and still struggling with a voice. The good news, is that while horrible sounding, there IS noise coming out now. So I can talk and be understood which is truly a blessing. So, improvement at least!

6 days and still counting....

So, small update....voice went away again. Didn't make it to the Dr.'s today because I had some issues scheduling issues. So I'll go tomorrow. My good friend around the corner offered to come and sit with my kids during naptime (the only time I could get an appointment).


And no, Stacy, I wouldn't call. Although you can; It might give you a good laugh. I can't promise you'll be able to hear me though. :)


Oh, and just because saying it once in my last entry isn't enough, Do you know how hard it is to parent without a voice?!?!?!?!?!

Let's just say there are 4 garbage bags full of toys, shoes, DVD's, etc out by my back door right now because the kid's must not have thought I was serious when I told them to pick them up or they'd get thrown away. Since I am NOT going to say it twice on a day when each word takes great effort, they now are going to be missing a lot of things. I'm trying to contemplate if I'm going to be mean enough to make Emilee go to school with just socks on because her shoes are gone. With how cranky I'm feeling right now, I just might....although I'm sure I'll get a good night's rest and feel sorry for her in the morning.

6 days....

That is how long I've been without a voice. I started getting sick last Friday night. I woke up on Saturday, started loosing my voice and got a horrible flu!!!! Man, I was really sick. Sunday was a little better, but the cold had really moved to my chest/thoat area, my voice became worse and I started a really bad cough. That night I was short of breath and my poor husband was really started to worry. Each day, I would wake up feeling better, but my voice would be worse. Yesterday I really couldn't speak much. This morning, I couldn't speak at all. As in, just air came out. I was literally louder if I whispered.

It was quite frustrating, at that point, trying to call my husband and communicate to him that I needed him to call the Dr's and set up an appointment. I literally shouted into the phone, with my mouth right at the reciever. I shouted one word at a time....often 2 or 3 times until he could understand. It was really pathetic.

So now I have an appointment at 3pm. Guess what just happened?

Yeah, you guessed it....I just got part of my voice back. it's certianly still "gone"....but at least noise comes out now.

So, does that mean I'm getting better? It will be just my luck that by the time I go to the Dr. it will be all better and I'll look like an idiot. But maybe it won't. It went in and out a lot yesterday. I guess only time will tell.

One thing I can say, It SUCKS to try to parent three small children when you can't talk!

Don't bother me unless the house is burning down....

You all remember comments like that from your parents, right? Well, they don't work with young children. It sure didn't work when I used it in the desperate attempt at 10 minutes alone in the shower this morning. 10 minutes is all I wanted. 10 minutes with no one else touching me, snotting on me or talking to me. My kids didn't listen.

However, that was actually a good thing. But, next time I make that statement, it will need to have some amendments made to it.


"Don't bother me unless the house is burning down, the 4 year old is about to pee her pants if she doesn't get into the bathroom right now, the toddler has found the paints and is attempting to decorate the couch, or the neighbor boy has walked into our house."


I'm sure I'll have to add more next time.

The wait is over...

James didn't get the job. They found someone with experience underwriting government loans (which is what we were HOPING this job would help him put on his resume).

I was so looking forward to the extra income this job would give us. We certainly wouldn't be rich, but we would have been able to make ends meet...something that is difficult to do some months.

Tomorrow will be another day and we'll begin the search once more!

But for tonight...I think I'll go cry.

I knew it!!!

I've always suspected that my children were from another planet. Today my suspicions were confirmed.

Megan wanted some of the vitamins Daddy was taking. Daddy told her they were not for children.

"Oh", she replied. "So they're only for Humans?"

Oh the waiting.....

I hate waiting. I am an extremely impatient person. Actually, I'm a control freak, really. Which means I hate waiting becuase I'm not in control at the moment. We're waiting to hear if James got a job he interviewed for or not. It's a scary move, but one that we've been getting more and more excited about as we've thought and prayed about it. Now we just have to wait and see if they'll want him!!!

The longer it takes, the more nervous I'm getting. Last week she told him she wanted his answer (he actually wasn't sure at the interview if it was the right fit, and she spend a good part of the interview actually trying to convince him it would be!). Well, now we've given our answer and she says she'll let us know next week.

NEXT WEEK? I can't wait that long. Just tell us and get it over with. If the answer is no, fine. We'll get over it and move on with looking for other jobs. But I hate just waiting...not knowing and letting someone else have our future in their hands for the next week.

Someone distract me!

Lesson Learned!

The other day, Emilee was asking for MORE ice cream. She'd already had two bowls, for pete's sake. But she wanted more. We talked about the importance of eating healthy and making our bodies strong. Her reply? "I'll eat healthy tomorrow!" Hmmm, she must have subconsciously picked up the same justifications I use every day. I told her that "Tomorrow never comes." but she just gave me a weird look and went on trying to convince me she'd wouldn't eat any junk food for a few days.

Yesterday Emilee and I were spending time together while the other two children were napping. We played UNO and snacked on Pop, chips and chocolate (those Cadbury MiniEggs just kill me every Easter). When I remarked about how we were eating such horrible snacks the strangest look came over her face. All of a sudden her jaw dropped to the floor and she remarked, "Mom, you're right! Tomorrow never DOES come!"

Do you think learning this lesson at age six will keep her from procrastinating like I do?

A new resolve...

I've had a thought formulating for a few months now, and it has become louder and louder in my head. I'm at the point now, that I want to take notice and do something about it.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm too negative. Not necessarily in a "bad" way. I think I'm relatively "normal" and I don't believe that my friends consider me a really negative person, but maybe I'm just in denial. But I have been thinking about the people that I admire the most in my life and the one characteristic that I've noticed they all possess is the ability to be so positive and upbeat all the time. And I'm not talking a bouncy, giggly, cheerleader type happy... just a content, glass-half-full, I'm-on-the-green-side type happy.

A greeting with a friend might go such as this....

Me: Hi! How are you?
Friend: Great, and you?
Me: Oh, ok. Tired.
Friend: Oh, that's too bad, why?
Me: Oh, my kids were up a lot last night...I had a ton to do, blah blah blah blah.

Not that I think it's a bad thing to be able to vent and share my frustrations and trials in life. Not at all. I'm just beginning to think that I do it too often. I find that I talk about my frustrations in life a LOT, whereas the women I admire most do it very little. I don't hear of them discussing all the things they need to do, frustrating run ins with people, etc. Sometimes they do, but it's rare. I think that it's quite common with me. I don't want to be a negative person. I don't want to even be a mediocre person. I'm not trying to compare myself with these women, but I do want to try to emulate some of the qualities I find important. I want to be a person that people feel good to be around. I want to be someone that people feel comfortable with, uplifted when they're around me and happy.

In order to do this, I'm not going to be able to just tell myself to stop feeling that way. That would kill me! I'd be suffering in silence. I'd feel lonely and unsupported and unvalidated. That's certainly not going to help me be an uplifting person to be around. In order to do this, I'm going to need to make a concentrated effort to look on the bright side a little more often. I think I'll stop to smell the roses and make sure that I remark on their beauty out loud to my friends, so that I get in the habit of sharing THOSE happenings in my life as well. I want to spend less time thinking about what I have to get done, and more time thinking about the blessings I have in my life. I'll spend less time thinking about the monsters that I call my children, and more time thinking about the beautiful spirits the Lord allows me to call my children. I'll spend less time complaining about how men operate, and more time thinking and remarking on the man who supports me, regardless of how emotionally unstable, cranky or demanding I am.

Yes, I'll start there. And I'm going to force myself to say those things out loud. I think that I think verbally (did you follow that?). I think better when I talk things out (or write things out). I can sit in a room and be quiet and mull over the same topic forever and not get anywhere. But the minute I begin to talk it out, the thoughts come together, they evolve and progress. I think that will actually be the key to changing my thought process. I need to change what I TALK about first, which will require me to take notice of those things so that I can talk about them, and I truly believe that my thought process will naturally follow. See....even as I wrote this my ideas of how to do this have evolved.

That's my theory anyway, I'll let you know if it works!

What a day....

I had a friend's children over today. She's having a baby this coming week and I thought it would be nice for her to have a nice conference Sabbath to rest, relax and listen to the prophet and apostles. Her oldest two spent the night last night, and her 2 year old twins came over for the day. Her oldest daughter is my daughter's age, her second daughter is my second daughter's age (they're actually about 12 hours apart in age!) and her twins are just a little over 2 months older than my youngest. All girls (hers and mine). 7 girls, ages 6 and under in my house today. It was a blast, albeit quite chaotic!
Here's a picture of one of the meal times, probably
the only "controlled" time of the day.


It was a nice day outside, so they got to play outside for a while. It's really nice having older kids to play with my kids. It actually makes life easier since they occupy each other and spend less time following me around saying, "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom". Having extra toddlers, on the other hand, is quite the workout. Take one toddler, who gets into everything, spends her days moving articles from one room to the other, turning on water faucets and trying to smash crumbs into every possible corner and then triple that. I got a workout! It really was fun though. Of course, maybe that had to do with the fact that I knew that at the end of the day it would be over! Things are always easier to do one day at a time.

Hmmm, guess I really picked the right name for my blog after all!

A confession...

I am a selfish blogger. Yes, that's right. For the last month I have written a few blogs and read about the same. Thank you so much for those who come and read and post your comments. It means a lot to me.

I have been so busy this last month that I haven't had the time to read all of yours. And I really want to! I hear everyone comment about how wonderful they are and I'm jealous. Jealous that I've missed out....jealous that I can't write like that! I've been so busy my life has felt chaotic and stressed and even when took time to breathe I couldn't get my mind to focus. I have been concentrating on all the things I need to get done, and very little on anything (or anyone else). I've been selfish and self-absorbed.

BUT, I have been slowing my business down. My family needs me more. I have 4 more classes to teach and I then I'm pretty much done (with the exception of one birth in June and one in September!). I can just be me! I can concentrate on my kids and my church calling and just enjoy life. I'm looking forward to it. I've joined a group of women that go walking 3 times a week, which gives me time to clear my head and calm my thoughts down a bit. It also means that when I take time out for myself (ie. naptime!), I will be heading straight here! And reading....reading....reading.....I can't wait to catch up with all of you and see what's been going on outside of my own little world that I have been so wrapped up in.

A Thank You note

My Kindergartner wrote her first Thank You note today....all by herself. She was really worried to send it becuase she knows that not everything is spelled perfectly, but I told her it would be more special if they knew she did it by herself.

I just have to brag a little, because it's pretty darn cute!


Thakc Q for what youv dun.
I love your presis
To: Kafaleen (btw, Kafaleen is what her younger sister calls Kathleen, lol)



Oh, and Megan doesn't spell yet, but her funny for the day was yelling up the stairs,
"Mooooooooooooommmmmmmm, Emilee says I'm a tattle tell!" lol

What's that called again?

My oldest daugther (I know, I know....about 1/2 my posts start this way....what can I say, she's a hoot!) has been learning about money. She knows her quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. She understands how money works. Which just made tonights discussion that much more entertaining.


Emilee: Mom, what's that dollar called....the one that has a 5 on it instead of a one...the dollar that is worth 5 dollars?

Me: Um, a five-dollar bill?

Emilee: (slaps her forhead) Ugh....that's right. I can NEVER remember that. They should make them six-dollar bills. Those would be easier to remember.

A Victorious Birth

I got a call on Friday evening from a first time mom, "M". She thought that her water might have broken. She called her Midwife "A" and indeed her water had broken but her cervix was still long and closed. "M" tried to get some sleep that night, although contractions had started a bit. By the am, "M" was about 3cm dilated. We headed into the birth center at around 10am. By now she was 4cm. At noon she was 5cm and her contractions were still pretty short and soft. "A" gave her some homeopathic to help her contract and dilate a bit more. Things really picked up then and by a little after 1pm (yes, just one hour) she was almost complete! She just had this rim of cervix left.
For about an hour she sort of pushed, but not really. lol. Her body didn't really feel much like pushing so we just sort of waited for that cervical lip to go away. Baby was REALLY low. Well, the lip just wasn't budging. Midwife "A" tried to help it out a bit, but that really hurt M so we waited it out a bit more. Around 2:30 "M" had really started to push in ernest. That lip was still there though. It would slide partway around baby's head when mom pushed but flip right back over when mom stopped. Midwife A tried holding it back through several pushes to get baby past. Baby finally got through. M worked really hard. SHe was pushing so well but baby just wasn't moving much. It became apparant that baby did not have it's head tucked. Babies normall tuck their chins in, so that the crown of the head (the smallest part) comes through. Instead this baby was trying to come out with it's head straight up...so that the widest part of the head (from back to front) was trying to fit through that pelvis. Needless to say this was NOT an easy task.

I learned a LOT of new pushing positions that day! She was: in the tub, on her side, on her back, on the toilet, hanging between me and her husband's legs (on leg on each of our knees with her butt to the floor....think supported squat), on her tummy with a swimming ring under her belly. This last position seemed to do the trick. Each contractions she'd rear back up on hands (like a child's pose in yoga) and baby would really move. Baby still hard a hard time fitting the back of it's head past her pelvic bone though. I got to feel though! At one point Midwife A said to me, "Get a glove on and come feel this!" It was really cool! I could feel baby come through the pelvis and then slide back during pushes.

Mom, meanwhile, was doing awesome! She had a few moments where she would cry and ask what she was doing wrong. But if we talked to her, her intense eyes would just stare at us and she'd just focus on us talking. I told her husband to make her look at him if she was loosing control and to just talk to her. He did and she would stare at him, just so depending on his love and support, and he cried and told her how beautiful she was and that he was there for her. It was the most special moment. I had to look away because I felt like I was intruding on a very intimate moment.

Around 4:15, Midwife A was able to actually reach her fingers in and grab baby by the back of the skull and tuck its head (since baby was being so darn stubborn!). Once that happened, baby finally slid out to a crowning position. There was a little corkscrew of curly hair coming out of the top of its head. I got a really good picture of that!

Baby Girl "E" was born at 4:30, weighing 8lbs 7oz! She had a head full of hair and was one of the mellowist babies I've ever seen. She screamed a bit at first, but after a minute or two calmed down and I didn't hear another cry from her the entire time I was there (for another two hours). She just looked around and stared and Daddy and Mommy. Daddy and Mommy cried....actually sobbed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes. They were so overjoyed. We let in a room full of family that had been waiting outside the room eagerly.

The Midwife later said that she knows without a doubt that had "M" been at a hospital she would have had a C-section. Hospitals don't really seem very keen on all the position changes. (I've had several Dr's tell me there's no difference between laying on the bed in stirrups and any other position!). Midwife A described this birth as a "Victorious" birth....and she's right! It wasn't easy....it wasn't even "normal", but it was beautiful and mom worked so hard. It was an amazing birth to witness.

I can't wait to go and see that family for our follow up visit!

What a nice day

The funeral was wonderful. Originally, I wasn't going to take my kids, but in the end thought that perhaps it might actually be helpful. My oldest daughter has some SERIOUS concerns with death. Where she got them, I'll never know as we haven't had to deal with death before. But for the last 2 years or so we've had hours and hours of conversations about it. I've used every analogy, every way of explaining it that is possible and it still comes up quite often. So at first, taking her to a funeral was out of the question. Then we began to think that perhaps this would give her what she needed. You see, she's a very concrete thinker. She can't visualize things and that bothers her. So when we talk about death in the abstract, she just doesn't understand. We thought that perhaps SEEING it, would be helpful. Of course, we were still worried that we would tramatize her for life. In the end she came, along with her younger sister. I prepared them as best as I could and they wanted to go into the Relief Society room where there was an open casket.

I personally had no desire to see my grandfather's body, but that is where grandmother was and I wanted to see her. We went in and the kids did spectacular. I had a minor meltdown in preparation to enter the room, but being in there was not what I expected. It's so obvious that grandpa was not there....that his body was not "him". There was a certain detachment from it because I knew where my grandfather really was. I think my girls could see the same thing and something must have "clicked" with Emilee, because she had only 1 or 2 questions and that was it! (Normally, we talk about death for 2 hours at a time and she can't stop worrying and discussing it). This time, it was "So can he breathe?"

"No, his body doesn't need to breathe. He is in heaven so he doesn't need his body anymore"

"Oh, ok." And she hasn't brought it up since.


Every single grandchild showed up to his funeral. Every. Single. One. I don't know how many there are, but I believe it is around 17 or something. All in all, there were 50 family members there for the family prayer beforehand. I'm not sure how many people were at the funeral total, but there were many people there, in fact, the entire chapel was filled. It was difficult to watch my grandmother kiss him goodbye and tenderly lay an afgan over him. Megan watched and said, "Oh, that's cute."

We all wore pilot's wings. At the very beginning, all of the great-grandchildren got up and sang I am a Child of God. What a perfect tribute to the patriarch of our family! His daughters spoke first. Linda, his oldest, got up and told everyone that were were here to celebrate Grandpa's graduation! My Aunt Jan had become ill that day and was not able to make it. My mother talked read her part, including a beautiful poem my grandfather had written about my grandmother just a couple of years before and mom also spoke about some fond memories she had. I was asked to read the memories I'd written down (my last blog entry). When I finished with "Here lies the shell, the nut is gone" I saw most of my cousins smiling and nodding as I know they had all made the same promise to grandpa.
My cousin Ruth read a poem called High Flight that he has had on his wall for years.

High Flight
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence.
Hov'ring there,I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air. . . .
Up, up the long, delirious burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or ever eagle flew —
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
— John Gillespie Magee, Jr
His favorite song, Ava Maria, was played. Then my cousin Matt spoke and talked of the eternal nature that we are and of being a reflector for Heavenly Father, (he put it MUCH more elegantly than I ever could...it was really an amazing talk). It was the perfect ending to his memorial.

We finished up with food...party food at that. Chili Dogs, cookies and Ice cream....etc. We had brightly colored napkins and plates to represent how Grandpa would have wanted us to have a party and be upbeat. Each table had a bowl of M&M's on it....something Grandpa loved. By the end, all of the children (probably close to 20 great grandchildren had been there) were running around the gym playing and having a good time, just as Grandpa would have wanted.

It was not nearly as emotionally exhausting as I thought it would be. I cried, of course, and several times. But at the end of the day, the sun was shining and I thought to myself, "This was a good day."

In Memory Of William Hamilton Hall

When I think back to my childhood memories of my Grandpa Bill, I think of the jokester. Grandpa loved to joke with all of us grandkids. A trip to see him wasn't complete unless he had teased or tricked us in some way. He would call our home, and when I would answer, he would say, "Who's this?"

"It's me, Heather."

"No it's not, this is Grandpa!!!" he would joke.

I thought I would get the best of him and trick him up, so the next time he called and asked "Who is this?" I would reply, "It's Grandpa!" thinking that I was so smart. In schocked disbelief he would gasp, "You're grandpa too? So am I!!!"

My little child's mind would get so flustered when he would call because I knew I couldn't win. He loved to tease. He would tell us that the reason he had a little bit of jiggle under his chin was because his hair had fallen out and down into a sack under his chin. For years I believed that the scar on his head was from a bullet in WWII. He also claimed to have invented anything we were interested in at the moment...cars, dolls, sandwiches, the earth, etc. I can remember him taking walks with me when I would stay at my grandparents and he would take me to Lion's Park and point out the snake holes (at least, I think they were, he might have been pulling my leg then as well!)


Some special things about my grandpa:
1. He baptised me
2. He came to my wedding even though it was difficult for him to make the drive
3. He loved M&M's, particularly the big 2lb bag!
4. He loved B-17 bombers
5. He was an excellent baseball player- he pitched!
6. He grew a gotee last year! He was the best looking grandpa around!

I am blessed to have a bit of his life and story written down for me. He wrote them several years ago and gave them to everyone in the family. I'd like to share some of what he wrote...I'm sharing the parts that make me smile.

"I was told later in life that at birth I was so ugly and wrinkled they nicknamed me "Grandpa". I was transported from floor to floor and room to room to show the patients so they could see this little tiny ugly old man! So for a week the hospital patients were kept laughing and in good spirits by this old ugly baby. This is my only claim to fame.

...One final episode with Matches- Some how one of the matches I had in my pocket jumped out and set the house on fire underneath the back porch. Excitement, Excitement! No need to give details. Let your imagination dictate what happened in the next few days.

High school was next. Even though we were in a deep depression and had little of material things I enjoyed my high school years. I sang in the school Acapella choir, participated in three school operettas, namely: The Deseret Song, Chocolate Soldier and South Od Sonora in which I had a speaking part. In addition I took part in football, basketball and baseball. Baseball was my best sport and I pitched for a semi-pro team in the "Three State League". This was at the age of 16. I was offered a contract with the Chicago white sox farm team for the following year. However, I blew that by pitching too hard and too long in a game which I struck out 18 and one the game 2 to nothing. However showing off to the grandstand at that game ruined my arm and my pitching days were over.

During High school I did go to dances, etc, but never went steady with one girl. At my 50th class reunion one girl I took to a high school dance reminded me of the time I took her to the dance in a hearse. My father was a mortician and the hearse was the only car available.

I always chewed gum like a mad man. One night I was dancing with a young girl I knew and we went swirling pass the front doors which happened to be open to let some fresh air in. It was windy outside and I was talking up a storm and a gust of wind blew a big mass of the girls hair into my mouth and with my chewing and talking I magaged to get a big piece of sticky gum well intagled in her hair. This really made me a nerd.

It was in that dancehall I met my current bride. I did not know how to pick up a girl or ask to take her home. I fumbled around with some nerdy lines, but she rescued me by suggesting I walk her home. (They were married Dec 1st , 1940.....65 years of marriage!!!!)

War clouds were gathering and on Dec 7th, 1941 Japan attacked our naval forces in Pearl Harbor and the war was on. I enlisted in the air force soon after Christmas of 1941 and spent the next 4 years in uniform as an airplane driver. I currently hold a civilan commercial pilots license.

In 1956, our favorite youngest daughter was born (this was my mother. My grandpa had a way of calling everyone his "favorite"....favorite youngest daughter, favorite oldest daugher, favorite granddaughter named Heather...). Since she was supposed to have been a boy we hamed her Billie Ruth.

In conclusion, if I were asked for some advice I would say the following:
1. Be Yourself
2. Don't take yourself too seriously
3. Give more than you take- and I don't mean punches
4. Honor completely your father and mother
5. Be humble about your talents- they were god-given
6. Be honest in your dealing with your fellow man
7. Look to your father in Heaven in all things."



I'm a little nervous to go to the funeral as I've never been to one before but my mother tells me that grandpa has instructed everyone to imagine him standing at the end of his coffin, with his fingers stuck in his ears saying, "nana nana na na!" Good ole' Grandpa!

Grandpa,
I love you so much. I miss you. But I am so happy that you are free and young again and with Heavenly Father and those family members I know you have missed so much over the years. Each time I've seen you over the last several years, you've made me promise to say something when you died. I'm keeping that promise.

There lies the shell, the NUT is gone!

Grandpa Bill 1919-2006

WOW

Has it been two weeks already? My life has been so busy lately. I keep putting my blog on the back burner and thinking "I'll get to in in a couple of days." Obviously that hasn't happened. And it probably won't happen again again for at least a week! I took on WAY to many clients this month and I am working too much.

Last month my oldest told me that I was going to too many "meetings" and that she hated that I was gone so much. I told her that if it really bothered her I would not do as many births. Her eyes widened and she said, "You mean *I* am more important than BIRTHS?!?!"

It was cute, but it broke my heart as well. She should know that; that is not a question I want my children to have. Yes, they are more important to me than my births. I do the births because I love to do them and it is a side of me I get to fulfill other than mommy-mode. I do them becuase they bring in a little extra cash, which we could certainly use. But I am Mommy first right now, not doula. So I'm cutting back.

I still have to fulfil my obligations to the clients I have already scheduled, obviously. So that means I am crazy busy until the end of this month. And then not so much. The summer will just be me and my kids and an occasional birth. Come fall, I will take time off completely for my family for a few months. This will give us all the break we need.

I'll always do births...even if it is just a couple a year...but my family comes first. And you can't ignore a child reaching out for more mommy time, especially if they use those exact words!

So, you won't hear from me again for at least a week. But I haven't forgotten my blog!

Love Note

My oldest daughter wrote me a love note today....on her magna doodle. It reads:

I *heart* U.
I'm shoor I *heart* U.



Awww......I love being a mom.

Funny how inspiration comes.....

Tonight I was getting my beautiful children ready for bed. Those beautiful children delighted in fraying every last nerve in my body tonight. As we sat down to say our nightly Prayers and Scriptures, they continued to hop and dance around, scream and screech and basically just not listen to me. My eyebrows furrowed, my lips pursed and I hissed "STOP IT RIGHT NOW. THAT IS NOT HOW WE PREPARE TO TALK TO HEAVENLY FATHER."
I then opened the scriptures randomly and this is the first scripture I saw. Not "on the first page", but literally the FIRST words my eyes read.

"An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour."

Wow! I grew up all my life hearing stories of people with real life struggles, fasting and praying for answers and opening up the scriptures to reveal the answers. And tonight it happened to me....even if it was just to chastise my hypocritical parenting skills.

So the Seahawks lost...

I do not come from a football family. We never know when it is football season. We rarely know when the Superbowl is coming up. We just don't care. However, this season the Seattle Seahawks made it and this whole area has gone crazy. The evening knews would show Elementary Schools having entire assemblies dedicated to the Seahawks; small preschool children had their faces painted in the team's colors as they waved Seahawk flags. My daughter's school was among the schools hyping the kids up. So my daughter has come home from school, every day for the past two weeks, jabbering about the Seahawks and asking if I can paint her face blue and green for Seahawk's day at school. I don't even think she knows what a football game is, but she's excited.

So Sunday comes and I know that she'll be disappointed if she goes to school in the morning and finds out it was on and she missed out. So I turned the game on, figuring that she would get bored after 10 minutes. Not so! She watched the entire game! And not only did she watch, but she created her own scoreboard and kept score. S was for Seahawks, ST was for Steelers. She drew hearts by the Seahawks to show her support.

She was a little confused about Pittsburgh though. She kept referring to it as another country, and at one point when the Steelers made a touchdown she exclaimed, "Oh those darn Burg people!"

Then came the final minutes of the game. It became obvious we were not going to win and I tried to prepare her for the worst. The clock ticked down and Pittsburgh began to celebrate and Emilee burst into tears. "Our country sucks!" she yelled and then buried her head into the pillow to sob. She also asked if we could move to Pittsburg. She cried herself to sleep that night. Literally.

I guess we have a football fan in our family after all.

Top 10 instructions from the Pre-existance

Inspired by my 19 month old, these are the last minute instructions my babies recieved in the pre-existance before they were born.

10. Do not, under any circumstances, allow your parents wash your face. If they try to do so anyway, scream and arch your back as if they are applying acid.

9. There are 5 main food groups that you must consume every day. Parents are not aware of this so you must beg several hundred times. These include: macaroni & cheese, top ramen, goldfish, fruit snacks and yogurt.

8. "Come here" means "run away as fast as you can". Following this direction will make your parents very happy, even if they do not look like it.

7. Whatever you do, do not allow them to cook in the kitchen alone. Whenever they attempt to cook a meal or do the dishes, cling to them as if you are stuck with superglue.

6. On birthdays, you will receive the best gifts. They are boxes, covered in bright paper and bows. For some reason, parents often put junk inside the boxes, but just throw that stuff to the side and you can enjoy your boxes and wrapping paper for hours!

5. Parents are organizationally challenged. So help them out by moving objects from the places your parents have put them and moving them to where they belong, which is usually in the middle of the floor in another room. At first your parents will be resistant and try to put things back, but as time goes on and other children join your family, they will eventually give in.

4. When you are not getting your way, stick your bottom lip out just so, open your eyes as large as you can and let a single alligator tear roll down your cheek. Works every time.

3. Markers work best on arms, legs and tummies.

2. Diapers are for peeing in, and toilets are for washing dolls.

1. You are equipped with a "intimacy-o-meter". Any time your parents are getting too friendly, your meter will sound and you will be able to spontaneously awaken. For the sake of your own self-preservation, please put your meter to use and scream bloody murder each time your meter goes off. We know it's hard to awaken from a dead sleep, but if you don't something really bad might happen, like a little brother or sister who will steal your toys.

Six Year Old Heartache

The following conversation just took place between me and my Kindergartener. This is only a small snippet of the two hour conversation, but a pretty fair representation.

Emilee: Mom, I don't think Theresa likes me.

Me: Why not?

Emilee: She just doesn't.

Me: Did she say that?

Emilee: No. But she says that I scare her.

Me: Why does she say that?

Emilee: I don't know...she says that I'm a good girl and I scare her. But I don't want to....I'm trying not to. I don't understand. She asked me to be her friend and now she doesn't want to. I just don't have any friends.

Me: What about MiKayla?

Emilee: Well, she likes me TOO much. She's always like "Emilee!!!" and hugging me and stuff.

Me: So you don't like it when they like you TOO much, but you don't like it when they don't like you enough?

Emilee: Yes. I want them to be medium....like Skyla.

Me: Well everyone is different Emilee. What about Casey?

Emilee: Well Theresa told Casey not to be my friend. But I was Friends with Casey for a long time. She was my first friend at school.

Me: Sometimes little girls aren't very nice Emilee. But you don't want them for friends if they are mean. You don't have to be friends with everyone.

Emilee: Theresa said she's going to invite me to her birthday party, but only if I don't bug her. *tears come to her eyes and she hangs her head* I just don't understand friends. I want friends who love me for who I am.
(does that sound like a 6 year old to you?)

Me: *tears in MY eyes now* Emilee, you will have many many friends who love you just the way you are. You are a very special girl and anyone who chooses not to be your friend is missing out on a very very special friend.

Emilee: Mom, why are you crying?

Me: Because I want to be able to protect you from all the mean girls you will meet in school.

Emilee: *eyes perking up* Well, you could go take over their moms!

Me: I don't think so. It doesn't work that way.

Emilee: *wistfully* I just don't understand why someone would ask to be my friend and then not want to be friends with me.


The conversation went on and on like this for quite a while. My heart breaks for my daughter. I remember what friendships were like in school. They sucked! Girls are mean, as a general rule. They are manipulative and did very little for my self-esteem growing up. I tried to share with Emilee that I have known many girls like that as well, but that she will get a few really good friends who will make her happy and be there for her. Emilee is so tenderhearted when it comes to relationships...and she's only 6! Her heart breaks at the thought that someone would not be included or loved. She once had a friend tell her that she would not come to her birthday party if she invited so-and-so. Her jaw literally fell to the ground. She could not imagine that someone would be unaccepting of a perfectly good "friend". In her own words, "Mom, I try really hard to be a really good friend to people...why wouldn't they like me?"

I don't know whose heart aches more.....hers, or mine because I know exactly what is in store for her as learns to grow up.