Grateful to be alone.

You might think I'm going to talk about the truly heavenly bliss that comes from having some alone time, but I'm not. I'm going to talk about those moments that you are truly grateful that you are alone, because otherwise someone would see you acting like a complete idiot.

Take, for example, me. I'm in my room today, cleaning (gasp! Yes, CLEANING my room. There you go Mom and Dad, it only took me 28 years). I'm sweeping along the side of my bed when this THING....this small black and really, really, really fast thing comes running at my feet. This sucker was coming straight for me and I screamed like there was no tomorrow and leaped up onto my bed, jumping and screaming and basically freaking out. Then that nasty little critter ran into the wall and began running back to where it came from.

As I watched the little purple/black bead roll to a stop in the middle of the floor, it dawned on me that with my zealous sweeping, I had sent the bead flying, bouncing off a wall, and rolling straight back at me. But in my defense, it was moving so fast there was no way I could tell it was a harmless little piece of necklace and not some creepy, hairy, eight legged ball of terror. It probably took me a full 5 minutes to quick breathing heavily.

See, this is why you don't clean. I really don't think it's good for your health.